Church…Apparently Players attend it Too..

Advice, bullshit, drama, life, people

As previously mentioned, the biggest life lesson I’ve learned and I guess I’m still learning and dealing with the blow back from All started in the summer of 2009 on a Church Missions trip. In some ways it is your typical “Girl Meets Boy” teenaged “love” bullshit. Totally Basic I know. But little did I or anyone else know at the time, this was about to start the longest most drawn out– NEVER ENDING living MTV series… story of my life.

In usual fashion, meeting this boy wasn’t normal either; I was at a local fast food restaurant because per usual nothing was going according to plan. The bus that was to take my youth group down below the Mason Dixon for our Trip, was two hours late. I had my tray of food and I almost walked right into this middle aged blonde woman– So of course I immediately started trying to apologize to her; she shook her head and didn’t even seem to miss a beat. This woman asked me if I was going on the trip I smiled politely and said that I was. She asked me what my name was, so I told her. and she gestured over to her son, and I saw him my heart stopped in my fucking chest. Yes at 7:15 in the morning I was convinced that I was having a heart attack, and I would not make it on this trip because of laying eyes on HIM. This woman then introduced herself as his mother and immediately dragged me over to the table that He and his cousin ( a boy I knew quite well because I had gone to school with him practically my entire life.) were sitting at. I awkwardly sat down, his mother introduced us. What should of been my first instinct that this kid, was probably super sketchballs– was the look that he shot me, he had this look on his face that I had either sprouted six heads horns and a tail, or he legitimately thought I was the worlds biggest bitch for agreeing with his mother that I would make sure he took some photos of the trip. Alas I didn’t take that warning sign, it wasn’t until a very good friend of mine flipped out that he was on the trip with me– That well that was when I fully realized who he was. He was the guy my friend had been crushing on, the one that she had been hooking up with practically all summer. If I could turn back the clock, and realize that so much sooner, I’d of slapped the shit out of myself for even allowing myself to think he was cute, or anything remotely along those lines. Going off of “Girl Code” I had violated it for even thinking that he was pleasing to look at. I honestly could keep going into the nitty gritty details of how exactly I met this kid, but the mundane isn’t important right now.

What IS however important, is the one Thing I noticed for the duration of the trip, He was always looking for tail and expecting some kind of sexual favor from a girl… and we were on a MISSIONS trip for CHRIST SAKE. in all reality YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING ANY!! AT ALL. I was foolish then but I caught on, and actually called the kid out on it. I asked him point blank if he was a player…and of course he got all hurt and said no really I’m not a player. I just don’t have feelings. I’ve lost the ability to feel and went into a heart wrenching story, so really what I should of realized then was the mark of a player–starting to play the game. Remember my first ever post when I ranted about the accursed “Don’t Hate the Player Hate the Game.” Damn isn’t it Ironic how everything seems to come full circle? If I could have picked up on some of the tell tale signs early, I probably would of saved myself a whole lot of drama— not to mention heart ache and trouble. Unfortunately at 16 I really wasn’t all that sure what the hell a warning sign was or even what I SHOULD look for if there were any. I guess in the end, Everyone has to “live and learn.” so Here are some tell tale signs just for you call this a cheat sheet or player study guide if you will.

He’s a Player If:

1. All he does is tell stories about Sexual conquest.

Thats a really big one because if that’s the ONLY thing he can seem to talk about then he really isn’t interested in YOU as an individual, he’s already marked you as his next target or sex story to tell the “Bros.” SO IF you notice that there’s a theme to his stories and dialogue, and coincidentally they ALL just happen to start with: “SO this one time when I was making out with this Chick….” Promptly Bid him a good day and GTFO.

2. You’ve heard his name and his rep before you’ve even met the kid.

That really doesn’t need much explanation, That just uses common sense– once you’ve been introduced and you realize “holy shit this is the kid that has supposedly fucked half my grade” about face and move on to another guy cause honey he ain’t worth it.

3. Girls always seem to be his “best friends” even if he used to date them or makeout with them.

STOP! DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT $200.00 JUST TURN AROUND!!! HOLY SHIT DO NOT GET ANY CLOSER! but seriously though, if you usually think of yourself as calm cool collected and super laid back, get involved with the guy who has 50000000000 “best friends” and they all happen to be girls, that he just conveniently forgets to tell you have either all liked him, dated him, or had some kind of sexy time with him— Punch the ASSHAT in the Balls as hard as you possibly can and then leave. any sanity you have will be gone in a matter of seconds if you constantly are made to feel like you have to defend what is yours all the time.

4. Everyone else seems to think they are a player….but he seems totally clueless

EH this one you really have to get to know them first, because sometimes the people who are saying that may or may not have gotten burned by him; or its guys that are secretly jealous of certain aspects about him. BUT after getting to know the person you realize everything he in fact does is everything everyone else has told you and had already previously branded the jerkface as a player, congratulations he might be a fucking dumbass, or really fucking clueless as to his own life but he is a PLAYER.

Remember folks, players can be found anywhere they’re crafty individuals. SO if you happen to be at church and you think you’re meeting “Mr. Wonderful” look for the signs, cause Apparently Church has players too.


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