So Against all your better judgement, You got involved with the guy that has 5000000000 “best friends” that all happen to be girls.
YOU ARE AN IDIOT.
But it’s okay, sometimes it happens to the best of us. In your head you’re thinking to yourself that its going to be fine, everything will be okay. You fool yourself into thinking this because maybe you’ve met some of his female friends and it turns out you’re actually pretty good friends with them too as a result. But we all know that this isn’t going to last. Shit will hit the fan, and when it does, lord baby jesus will you need help.
I’m not just talking about help from your friends to pick up the pieces I’m talking about serious professional help… or alcohol— lots and lots of alcohol, and maybe even a punching bag because you’ll probably want to hit things.
When you and your mr prince charming first get together, it’s going to feel like it is the absolute best decision you have ever made, you’ll be congratulating yourself on how smart and clever and awesome you are for scoring such an amazing looking and sounding guy, in fact your friends are gunna be all over that shit too helping feed into your delusion because either they’ve been duped too– or they know something is up but they want you to figure it out and wake the fuck up without them saying anything to you.
Its honeymoon puppy love people, you only have eyes and boners—and lady boners, for each other. as you should right? then all of a sudden.. the momentum changes and at first its not because of anything he said or did, it’s because of what he DIDN’T say. I think it is 100% safe to assume that as a girl, we have expectations and these expectations aren’t unusual or abnormal, they’re just standards that we hold ourselves too and common sense would state we hold our love interests to them too. These standards or expectations are pretty simple here’s a short list of what they are.
1. always have complete and total honesty even if it sucks at times
2. Respect each other your opinions and views, its crucial if you don’t have respect you don’t have shit.
3. Communicate with each other, neither one of you are mind readers so talk damnit
4. Put your significant other before all the bros, or your girlfriends. you don’t have to do this all the time but if there isn’t any couple time your relationship isn’t going to last.
Anyway, those are some of the standards that come with being in a relationship; or having any kind of a love interest for that matter. What starts the slow and on going process of a Sane girl loosing her sanity is a quick progression of all the things left unsaid and actions that go unjustified.
The girl that you thought was “just a friend” turns out to be the girl he made out with and hooked up with before you and he started dating, the same girl that is still just his friend also happens to be the girl he “cheated” on you with, broke up with you for but then still got back together with you because he claims that he “loves you”. (RIGHT he surely does “LOVE ME”)
The honesty you thought both of you had…. turns out not so honest. and lots of new and fascinating little stories and factoids start to come up out of the woodwork and it leaves your head spinning, it makes you re-evaluate every conversation that you have ever had— or every little thing that he has ever said and done, you start to think about what has happened in correlation to what you’ve found out and it makes you think what the actual hell. How much of this was the truth versus what was lies. and this ladies and maybe even gents, this right here is the crucial turning point. This is where your faith and trust starts to waver, and once the negative ideas get put in your head that’s it you’re donezo, finished, finito because now all you can do is think of the absolute worst scenarios, that coincidentally may or may NOT even be true. and all that puppy love newlywed honeymoon romance shit. YUP that shit goes right out the window.
Respect? HA, that’s a joke because by this point it is evidentially clear that he does not respect you, and obviously don’t respect yourself if you were still trying to figure out a way to make a relationship work after that. If by some miracle there is still some degree of respect still there it’s waining fast. I think in all honesty if there could ever be that amount of shade or sketchiness, then the respect was never there. and that starts the climax of your mental mental decline. The sanity is slowly starting to slip away, because at this point what you thought was reality no longer seems all that real.
Communication, that’s funny- this aspect left along time ago there’s no talking or anything neither of you know what the hell is going on and in you’re mind you’re convinced that it’s orchestrated that way. It eats away at you, rots in your mind and creates a pit in your stomach that is so deep that nothing could ever fix it. the sense of this spiraling feeling of worthlessness grows and one day you snap.
As this sense of worthless grows there isn’t much being done to quell the feelings the “bros” have once again consumed your significant others life, and if it isn’t the “bros” its the 5000000000000 “best friends” that are girls, at this point you feel like an outsider on your own relationship.
So what is there for you to do, I mean really? what is there for you to do, the only other feasible option is to lash out, do whatever it takes to get noticed by him her or anyone else who will listen. The worst part is, you hate feeling and acting like this; realistically you know that you should just cut ties and take it for what it is— a loss. Yet you just CAN’T and maybe for the time being it isn’t so much that you CAN’T, but rather that you WON’T because you’re heart just isn’t ready to let go, and your brain is still running around like a hamster on a wheel, or even like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Thoughts don’t make sense and everything is snowballing out of control. This downward spiral has begun to spin out of control and the more you try to regain control, the faster it spirals away. This feeling of cloud nine that you used to be on, has quickly turned into living HELL. and that is how you’ve lost your sanity, at one time in your life you viewed yourself as calm cool and collected; pretty laid back and mellow.
But now, HA– now you’ve reached a new low, a low that sometimes you feel that you have no other way out of, and that is the scariest place to be because in that place; in that place you are not sure if you can recover which is truly terrifying because if you can’t recover, you’ve truly lost. Losing, losing to him and losing to your own self— that just isn’t an option.